Saturday 31 May 2014

You're Dropped!

Thirteen is a number burdened with ancient symbolism and much evil. Friday the 13th is a famously unlucky day - and it really was on Friday October 13 1972, when Uruguayan Air Force Flight 571 crashed in the Andes, killing 29 people, forcing the survivors to eat pieces of their frozen dead team mates to stay alive, while on the exact same day, 174 people were killed when a Soviet Aeroflot plane crashed in a lake. As it was on Friday the 13th October 1307, when King Philip IV of France ordered the slaying of the Knights TemplarThe end of the Mayan 13th calendar cycle was supposed to have triggered the 2012 apocalypse - which seems to be on its way with mass species extinctions and an expected total ecosystem breakdown. There are 13 witches in a coven - not an oven - thirteen witches in an oven would be baked witches, not burnt at the stake witches. Even if a bakers dozen of 13 baked bread loaves is called the Devils Dozen it has nothing to do with 13 witches in an oven (or a coven) but maybe a  lot to do with The Death Card in the Tarot pack 'witch' is XIII.

The 1970 Apollo 13 NASA Moon mission was called a "successful failure" because it didn't land on the moon as it was supposed to even though it managed to get into space.  Iranian Zoroastrists run for the hills on the 13th day of the year because the wrath of malevolence is expected to enshroud anyone who dares tardy in cities and towns. The virgin F├ítima appeared to 3 children in Portugal on the 13th day of every month for six months in a row in 1917, warning them of World War 2 and fiery flames of hell burning at the center of the earth.  Thirteen apostles sat around the table at Jesus Christ's last supper when Judas’s betrayal sent him to his crucifixion, which could be why it is considered ill-fated to have thirteen guests for dinner.There were traditionally 13 steps leading to the gallows. European monks thought 13 was most sinister because 13 full moons in a calendar year upset their annual religious festival planning. While the same 13 moon cycle brings bad luck simply because women’s menstruation occurs over 13 full moon cycles – we ladies were cursed from the get go. 

This ancient fear of 13 has found its way into modern times. You won’t see the number 13 in a triathlon. Thirteen is conspicuously uncommon in the corporate and manufacturing world, and hotels typically don’t have a room 13.  Even the fast and furious at Formula One did not use the number 13 from 1977 to 2013. And if you have thirteen letters in your name you’re bound to have the devil's luck - which could be good luck if you don’t believe that good triumphs over evil.
And Washington – well it is just full of sinister symbols. On the US Department of State Great Seal, front and back, there are 13 leaves on the left olive branch with 13 berries, 13 stripes on the middle shield, 13 arrows on the right, 13 stars above the eagles head, 13 letters in the "E Pluribus Unum" on the ribbon, 13 letters in "Annuit Coeptis" and 13 blocks top to bottom on the pyramid which are supposed to represent the 13 Satanic families – and doesn't that just prove that every founding father of the US of A was a wicked, manipulating conspiring Freemason intent on dominating the world and everything in it!
If you now have an irrational fear of number thirteen, like the Irish nationalist political leader Charles Stuart Parnell did,  you are Triskaidekaphobiac – and really silly because there has been no evidence whatsoever that 13 is an unlucky number. Some even think it’s a happy number- it is after all , a magical Fibonacci numeral. In Judaism, 13 signifies the age at which a boy matures and becomes a Bar Mitzvah and it's also the number of their God’s 13 Attributes of Mercy. In Islam 13 is the total of 1 Prophet and 12 Imams in the Shia school of thought, and the birth of Imam Ali. In Mesoamerican divination, 13 is the amount of important cycles of fortune/misfortune. In Italy, 13 is a lucky number. 

Colgate University on 13 Oak Drive in Hamilton, New York, also considers 13 a lucky number. The University was founded by 13 men with 13 dollars, 13 prayers and 13 articles. The University’s male  Capella group is called the Colgate 13. The photo to the left shows Colgate University students holding up their lucky number 13 on their website homepage - just pointing out though, the student's heads are missing........

A number of films and TV shows from various countries have been made around the number thirteen: 13 Tzameti,  Number 13, 13 Ghosts, Thirteen Ghosts a 2001 Remake, 13 Assassins, The Thirteen, The 13th Warrior, District 13, Apollo 13, Warehouse 13. Friday 13th, 13, and Thirteen. Musicians - mostly heavy metal - have explored the theme too. Blur, Fanclub, Black Sabbath, and Megadeth all have albums called 13. The Megadeth album has 13 tracks including the final song "13". Songs called 13 were also recorded by Johnny Cash, Danzig, Big Star and the Pixies. And there’s a German band called  XIII – heavy metal of course.

For anyone born on the 13th you are traditionalists, hard worker organisers. Sensitive and easily offended, you are approachable only when you are confident that the love, friendship and loyalty you offer will be returned. You are a tad authoritarian even though you lack confidence, but you defend yourself well. Your life is one endless roller coaster of challenges as you strive for a higher plane of existence so you tend to become a worry wart, even making yourself ill. Therefore you need to steer clear of negative situations and people in your lives. Like turning 13. A very negative situation to steer well clear of. Skip it - especially if you are 'triskaidekaphobic'  - go straight to 14.

With such malevolence infused into the number 13 no wonder we 13 year olds were utter psychos– it is emblazoned onto our age with a fiery hot branding iron. Its been foretold, etched, sung to us, played to us by Gods and Devils– old and new, from the underworld, the overworld, from times before Gods and Devils - they immutably tattooed every single generation of the age 13. We thirteens were just doomed to be tortured and to torture. Consider some historical 13 year olds: Joan of Arc began hearing voices when she was 13. Juliet of Shakespeare fame cried  “O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?" (Just like me harking endlessly over my latest infatuation). Tom Sawyer is 13 when he was to wed Becky Thatcher – neither  of them knowing what that really meant.  Anne Frank received her diary as a present on her 13th birthday, just like me. Thirteen is the child who gives you the lolly-pop for a suck but won’t let go of it!  

My 13 Years of Age Developmental Report Card
Thirteen is also a vibration  associated with genius so I’m going to go with that because I'm not superstitious. Taking the good luck side of number 13, how do I size up against current development criteria for the 12-14 year age group according to today’s assessments? Some people have commented through various social media channels that they were relieved to read they weren't alone in their dysfunction. But according to  behavioral milestones used to assess our own teenagers today – something we didn't seem to have when we were pubescent, not being as analysed back then as kids are today – we were totally normal.
I cope OK, albeit erratically, with the many physical, mental, emotional, and social changes that I am affronted with once I entered High School. My hormones are on time; my periods arrived which made me feel a little special at first, although only because I expected something mystical to happen, but it didn't, and the novelty wore off soon enough once I realised this was what is was going to be like for the rest of my life. And unlike boys who flaunted  facial hairs which were starting to cover their youthful skin like freshly sprouting grass after a public works verge restitution, I started removing the down from my body in secret – as if Mothers don’t notice when their precious babies have changed something about their bodies they have memorised since birth. Hair is a big thing at this age, not only are we having the style of  times – shags and sharpie cuts - but girls are twiddling and turning it, and so are the boys because many have long locks themselves before they shaved it off as the sharpie dawns. I certainly show more concern about body image, looks, and clothes, as I am supposed to, and I get my ears pierced.

The pressure is on to drink, but so far I've only had two glasses of champagne, and to smoke, which I tried but I decide it’s a disgusting habit. The boys are entrepreneurial in their efforts to find out what anything related to sex is about but I think all boys are ‘dirty b..tards’ who’d try anything on me or anyone else for that matter. These days there’s a lot of pressure for children to try drugs  but back in 1975 I haven’t come across any. 
Between the ages of 12-14 we make more of our own choices about friends, sports, studying, and school.I am concerned about the cohesiveness of our group which is quite a source of distress – we ruthlessly understand nothing of diplomacy and say what we think at the very exact moment. When I entered first form all bright eyed, bushy tailed and hot on the heels of my School Captaincy, I academically scored top of my class.  I still take my schoolwork obligations seriously.  I do my homework and I worry about passing exams and what my results will be, which is normal, but not unsurprisingly my marks begin to slide as I devote my energy to keeping Dear Dairy informed about what's going on at school. Sport plays an important role in my life and keeps me out of trouble. I am competitive but admire and respect when other players and teams perform well. I will play anything I qualify for at at school and am champion under 14 athlete this year. I also play in a winning local and regional representative netball team, and I umpire. While I'm quite independent, my parents are still very important to me and they still call all the shots.  If they say no, its no. This causes me to be rude and short tempered towards them as is expected of our age; although I am mostly rude and short tempered in my diaries where I don't restrain myself. My poor mother told me a few months ago, “Boy you really hated me then didn't you!"didn't of course. I just wanted everything my way.
Thirteen year olds are moody, and I am no different. One day its Oh Joy! Elation! Happiness! Groovily fantabulous! What a gorgeous day! and the next, What a horrible, ghastly, bitchy, dreary, f'ed up, not to mention shitted day of my life"– and I mean it- I cry a lot, I think nobody likes me, I hate myself and everyone else and I wish I was dead. I vacillate between confidence and excruciating lack of confidence – I never think I'm going to get into the sports team, and I always do. I always think I'm going to fail my exam, which I never do. I think the boys I like don’t like me when it seems they do. I think I’m ugly when apparently I’m not. I've wanted to slap myself in the face many a time typing my diaries up – as have my own children who’s eyes have more than once rolled  to the back of their heads over over and around around, like the Arkham Asylum ride  at Movie World:  “Mum!! What the!……Just go with him!”, my youngest son said this month when I didn't know if I should or should not go with my latest infatuation, Jason.
I am thinking more critically than I was at the beginning of the year and I am better able to express feelings through talking. We girls talk a lot, and we do a lot of writing too  - my diary entries are getting longer. I even write whole letters to my fellow school friends to get things off my chest. We post on our 1975 Facebook almost every day – our Paper Conversation - and we keep a Paper Conversation Book where all the discussions are stored and protected.  I have a strong sense of right and wrong as is expected of me now – especially when it comes to girls and their sexual conduct, and my own reputation. I feel intense guilt when I do something ethically challenged– I stole a dollar from the canteen and I lied about not finishing the cross country after I stopped half way. I felt so guilty I had to tell Dear Diary – but not guilty enough to fess up to the canteen mothers and pay the dollar back or to tell anyone else that I didn't finish the race. See - perfectly normal!

So it turns out that I've only been 13 all year ( seems I neglected to fact checked my own age when I started this blog!). This Roctober I move into my first month as a fourteen year old, and to baptise my new age  I say  “Yes”, to a 15 year old boy.

Also willing are the Swedish group Abba who have their first big international hit this month thanks to Australians and to Countdown’s Molly Meldrum when I do, I do,  I do, I do I do becomes number one in Australia but nowhere else in the world. It’s the beginning of the Abba fever that would sweep Australia later this decade and it won’t be the first time Australia has a significant role to play in the fate of the talented Swedes. No-one could distract me from the Sweet though. A colleague  wrote to me to saying he loved my blog but I lost all credibility when I fell in love with the Sweet! ( he was a Bowie, Rod Stewart, 10CC fan). But I wasn't alone. Bijorn Ulvaeus from Abba said in an interview that they were actually trying to look like the Sweet.  I wonder what we would have thought of that back in 1975! 

The World and Australia in Rocktober 1975

East Timor and the Balibo Six

This month in 1975 a ruthless military force to the north of Australia assassinates a young news crew of two Australians, two Englishmen and one Kiwi in a town called Balibo, because they were about to report on Indonesia's well planned secret invasion of East Timor.

Life was never easy in the equatorial jungles of East Timor, but even less so from the 16th century on under various colonial and invasive interventions starting with Portuguese colonial rule, a domination characteristic by neglect, slavery and exploitation. The run down colony made for a pushover Japanese invasion in World War II. The East Timorese sided with the Allies in the battle for Timor but they paid for their resistance with a staggering 40,000 to 70,000 East Timorese lives lost before Portugal took control again at the end of the war. When Portugal was confronted by their own Carnation Revolution in 1974-75,  it was in no state to administer East Timor, leaving a power vacuum easily filled by opposing agendas- the Revolutionary Front for an Independent East Timor (Fretilin), considered communists, and the Timorese Democratic Union (UDT) supported by the US, Australia and Indonesia. In what has emerged to be a conspiratorial act by the Australian Government to put a halt to  Fretilin and any East Timorese independence, Indonesia invaded and annexed the territory with Australia's blessing.

Australia’s TCN -9 journalist Greg Shackleton, 29, sound recordist Tony Stewart, 21; Gary Cunningham, 27, cameraman ; Brian Peters, 24, cameraman; and reporter Malcolm Rennie, 29, went off to Balibo to cover news of an impending Indonesian military attack on Balibo. They assumed they were protected by the Geneva Convention of 12 August 1949, which covers the treatment of prisoners of war, including war correspondents. Not so. It seems Indonesia had never heard of this convention, favouring instead to dispose of any witnesses of an invasion that was meant to look like the East Timorese had invited Indonesia to benevolently take over their country. Four of the media crew were shot to death under the orders of the now retired and unpunished Lieutenant-General Mohammed Yunus Yosfiah according to findings of the 2007 inquest into the Balibo killings, and a fifth was stabbed to death by Indonesian special forces soldier Christoforus de Silva.

There was a sixth member of the Balibo Five; AAP-Rueters Journalist Rodger East. He went to East Timor to get to the bottom of what happened to the crew of five, as journalists do. He too was summarily executed by an Indonesian firing squad on the morning of 8 December, a day after the Indonesian invasion of Dilli. The assassins dumped his body in the ocean.

Indonesia's occupation of East Timor was as violent, bloody and brutal as the deaths they exacted on the international media team only on a scale by the power of war crimes. Some 18,600 people were murdered, and a further 84,200 died of starvation and illness. 

Elsewhere in the World

Finally operational after 5.7 billion dollars over eight years was blown on the construction the USA's Safeguard anti-ballistic missile complex, the U.S. House of Representatives voted to shut down the program the very next day, because the system wouldn't protect the US in the event of a nuclear war and was in fact a security target.

Soviet nuclear physicist and dissident Andrei Sakharov won the 1975 Nobel Peace Prize but couldn't leave the Soviet Union to receive it, and two Soviet space probes Venera 9 and 10,  landed on the planet Venus, sending pictures back to earth of what they saw there.

While I am still blissfully unaware that men rule the world, women were admitted into the United States service academies for the first time this month - even though it is forced by legislation - and an incredible ninety percent of women in Iceland took part in the first "women's strike", organized by a feminist group called the Red Stockings.

A unique and endemic to Algeria precious little bird, the Algerian Nuthatch, was discovered for the first time by a botanist who was actually in Algeria  studying fir trees. Sadly,at the same time in the USA, the Snail Darter (Percina tanasi),a fish also discovered for the first time in the Little Tennessee River just two years earlier, became  extinct there due to the construction of  the Tellico Dam, even though construction was postponed for two years in an effort to protect the little fish. The Snail Darter was transplanted elsewhere but remains on the threatened species list.

Meanwhile in Australia a political storm is about to unleash a fury never seen in Australia to date, one that will scar our nation forever - until now as something eerily similar brews on Australia's political scene - when the Coalition majority in the Senate blocked the passing of the Prime Minister's Supply Bill intended to introduce sweeping new reforms that would benefit the majority of Australians.

Roctober 1975

This month I finally get to "go with a boy I like", Jason, but I drop him a few days later because I am told he is "using me". The very next day, Jason goes with another girl, Debbie, so in retaliation I "go with" poor old chubby rosy cheeked Trevor, who I then drop two days later because "I can't kiss I boy I don't Luv", and I fear for my reputation. We agree to stay "friends", and we do. Meanwhile I am looking sideways at the new French boy, Fabrice. I "wonder if I will ever go with Fabrice" whom I sit next to on the bus every day, but I decide he "shit stirs me too much".

Wednesday Rocktober 1“I was going to ask you but I still need more time to think about it”

This morning I was playing handball. I was real nervous but nothing really happened. Trevor came up to me and said “Since the situation has changed "( I knew it, I damn well knew it, it had to happen) "Jason is thinking of asking you today". Jo goes “Oh goody” but I know he won’t ask me. Then Billy came up and said “He is only thinking about it”. So I got upset and sat down. The Jason came over and I said “Hi” and smiled and he said “G’day Petra” and smiled. Then I smiled and he said “Now that Chris and Debbie have broken up it’s sort of changed. I was going to ask you but I still need more time to think about it, you don’t mind do you?”  I said “No”. He said "I’ll probably be asking you though". Then the bell went.

I saw him at roll call but I didn't say Hi. Then at senior recess he was sort of behind me and Sharon said "Jason’s really thinking about it". When I asked her why she said "He didn't say a word in history". God he must be unhappy. Oh God how could I be so ignorant! At 5th period he was talking to Debbie Grace just about all the time. She has a crush on him but I saw him say my name. He’s been upset all day. I luv him so much. I’d give anything to go with him but I know he’s unhappy. He doesn't want to go with me cause if he did he would have asked me already. He’s just thinking of trying to get out of it without hurting my feelings. Bless his heart. Oh God, he’s so unhappy and so am I. I want to go with him but I can’t make him unhappy just because of me, so tomorrow if I have the guts I’ll say “If you don’t want to don’t ask cause I don’t want you getting yourself into something you might regret”. Or something like that. I wanted to tell

Trevor but he didn't hear me when I called. Later when I was listening to the fight between Ali and Frazer, Trevor and all them came over to listen to it. I wanted to ask Trevor but he was too busy listening, and I wanted to ask Chris about Debbie but I couldn't find the guts. I was so unhappy. Oh God please, what am I going to do? I luv Jason really and truly but I don’t know how to talk to explain it to him. Oh someone please help.! Talked to Fabrice on the bus today.

Thursday Rocktober 2 - Groovily fantabulous! What a gorgeous day. He asked me! I said Yes

Dearest Diary,

Oh Joy! Elation! Happiness! Groovily fantabulous! What a gorgeous day! He asked me! Oh wow I’m so happy I want to scream at the world. I’m so happy. He came over to me this morning and said, “I guess you know what I’m going to ask you”. I said “Are you sure you want to” and he said “Yes I want to go with you”. I said “Yes”. He said, “We’re you crying yesterday?” I said “No, I did last night though”. He said “I wanted to make sure you liked me”.  I said “You should have seen my pencil case”, and he laughed. Then he said "You don’t mind if I don’t sit with you all the time?” I said “No”, and I got all muddled up and he laughed.  Then he patted me on the shoulder and said goodbye. Later on they called me over and I sat next to him. He put his arm around me. He asked me if Debbie liked Chris and I said yes, so he went over and talked to her. As it turned Debbie is going with Chris. We talked and he said “Why didn't you tell me all this ages ago? I would have gone with you then”. Then the bell went and he said “I won’t see you until lunch time”. Oh God I've never been so happy in my life. At third period I saw him talking and laughing with Debbie Grace. Then on the way to the fourth period he said hello. Then at lunch time he came over and sat next to me and started talking. He said “Has anyone shitted you up yet?” and I said “No”. He said “If they do I’ll beat their asses until their hanging out of their mouths”.

Later Anne Blackburrow and all them came up and started talking to Jason and I got a whole stack of dirty looks all day. Jason was born in England! How about that! I got his phone number too: its 393388. I wrote mine on his hand. He said he would take me to see

Alice Cooper. God he’s beautiful. Then the kids behind us kept calling him a two timer, “Have you had a nice time with Debbie Grace”. And I told him to tell them to get stuffed and he did . We started talking about dogs and cats and how lazy they are and I said “You seemed upset yesterday”. He said “No I was just thinking about you. I wasn't sure you liked me”. I said “I couldn't come up and say I like you Jason”. Like Cathy Scott. She said to Jason, “Since its International Women’s Year, will you go with me?”. GOD . On the way to Hill End Amanda had cornered him and she said “I've got a headache, can I lean my head on your shoulder? Have you got a soft shoulder? Are you going to ask me to go with you?” He said Get stuffed”. Good on him.

“I don’t see how Jason could go with Petra”

Lynette told me that Jason took Debbie Grace’s Bag but she had to kiss him first. But Jason denies it, and I believe him - so there! Then there was a fight and Jason went to watch it. As he was coming back the bell went and he came up and said goodbye and kissed me again. Oh wow was I on cloud nine all day. Boy do Iuv him, but sometimes I have doubts about him liking me. Everyone kept saying “Are you happy Petra”. Oh boy don’t they know how happy I am. I asked Jason if he would like me to come to the party and he said “Yeah I’ll probably go.” I've got to go to the party. I've just got to go. But Mum damn well won’t let me. I’ll have to beg. I’ll just have to. It’s so important to me and if he doesn't go I won’t go - if I’m allowed. I asked Mum this arvo. She said no. Oh hell. Anne and Gay and all them were talking to Trevor and they said “I don’t see how Jason could go with Petra” and Trevor said, “A lot easier than he could go with Amanda” ( hahaha). Then they said “She’s a bitch” and Trevor, “She isn't” and they said “She’s a fucking Bitch” and Trevor said, “She’s a bloody good kid so shut up”. Wasn't that sweet? Jason said “Trevor was going to ask me but I beat him to it”. Then he said “Craig asked you too so you are pretty popular”. God I luv Jason. Finally I got him. I hope it lasts. oh God I hope it lasts.

Friday  3rd Roctober“He kissed me real long on the lips. Boy. Wow it was nice

Dear Diary,

Gees it was great toady. We sat with the boys today. I asked Jason if he was 15 and he said yes and asked me if I was 15 but I’m not. They told some jokes. It was really great and then the bell went and he said “See you at lunch time”. At lunch I sat with him and he was as close as we could get. I started shivering and he said “Are you cold” and I said “yes” and he said “I'll warm you up” and he put his arm around me and held me tight. I tried to tell jokes but everyone kept telling the end. He asked me
if I’d go to the flicks to see Death Race 2000 and also to come with him to Luna Park. Isn't that great! Then this bee came and we both jumped away. I hit the bee and told him to piss off and he did. Then Jason moved back and put his arm around me again. We talked about pop groups. Jason hates Sherbet and so do I. Craig Statton had a big collection of the Sweet. We also talked about the party and booze and all that. Then the cursed bell went and I said "I won’t see you until Tuesday".He smiled and said he would ring me on the weekend. Seeya.

Saturday Rocktober 4 –Been waiting all weekend for Jason to ring but he damn well didn't

This is for Saturday, Sunday and Monday, so I can use the space for any happenings this week. I got a new bikini. It’s green, real brief, ties up the sides and has ties at the front. It’s real nice. Debbie’s and Jo’s are the same only different colours. Got a hat to go with it. Got really sun-burnt. Boy am I sore. I've tried real hard to get on the good side of Mum so I can go to the party. I've been waiting all weekend for Jason to ring but he damn well didn't. It wouldn't surprise me if he forgot he’s going with me. He’s probably found some other chick. Oh God, I hope not. Chris rang Debbie on Saturday from the Entrance and Jason hasn't even be bothered to ring from My Riverview. How do you like that! Well I don’t. He probably forgot all about it.

Rocktober Tuesday 7 – “I don’t see why I have to go over to him

Dear Diary,

Well the big news for today is that Jason’s friend has supposed to have gotten this chick up the stick. Poor Jason’s friend. Everyone was making fun of him. I feel sorry for him. Jason got his hair cut. Only his fringe, but it looks funny. I had to go up to him both times today. Chris will go to Debbie but he wont come to me. Chris kept saying "Have a fight".  When the bell went. I heard someone say, “How romantic”. At lunch I had to go over to him. I blew my stack about it. I don’t see why I have to go over to him. He put his arm around me. We started talking. I found out he was an only child. He said to me that they would take us out Saturday, but they don’t know where yet. He said “We’ll just get on the train and go somewhere”. Jason was going on about Denton wanting to go with Glenda. Ha! Jo got her teeth capped and they look horrible. She looks like Bugs Bunny. My f’ing mother won’t let me go to the party. Christ she SHITS ME UP THE WALL

Wednseday, Roctober 8 - You know what I found out today? That Jason’s using me!

What a horrible, ghastly, bitchy, dreary, f'd up, not to mention shitted day of my life. You know what I found out today? That Jason’s using me. He’s only going with me to find out how much he can get out of me at the party on Saturday, and that he knows I like him so much that I would let him. Like hell I would. What a b'd. What a b'd. What a f’ing b'd. I hate him. When Jo told me I ran up to E block crying my eyes out. Jason and Chris and everyone were watching from the Tech and Woodwork rooms but I didn't know it. I cried and I cried and I swore and all that until my eyes were popping out of their sockets. I even got a pass out of Maths I was so upset. Trevor called out at me from the Woodwork room. I was about to tell him something when the bell rang. Trevor asked me what was wrong and I said “Tell Jason I know” and he said “What?” He looked genuinely upset but Chris called him. Then I saw Jason in B Block and he looked at me guilty like. Trevor and Chris looked at me real serious. Later I walked past Jason and he smiled and said “Gaday Petra” but I just gave him a dirty look. Then the bell went. To top that off when I tried to ring him, he gave me the wrong number and gave Fleas  number (Trevor). How could he do this to me the f’ing b'd. He seems so genuine, so real, and he does this to me! I don’t want to live. I luv him so much and he has to use me. I’ll have to drop him tomorrow. After all this I’ll just have to. Seeya. I hate myself.

Thursday Rocktober 9 I dropped Jason

Today was just as f’d up as yesterday. Well I did it. I dropped Jason. Oh shit. I didn't want to but I had to before he dropped me. I went over to him in the morning and he said “Gaday Petra” and I said “Is that all you can say?” and he said “What am I supposed to say?” I pulled away and we talked about it. He denied it of course. He said “Why didn't you come to me first?”, the great BS artist. He told me to think it over and he would think it over. HA! So I dropped him. Then I remembered about the phone call and how he said his number is 393306,  but when I was going over Jason goes “Sshhhhh” and they all looked at me. Then Craig said “Did you drop Jason” and I said “Yes” and then I asked "Was he was using me” and he said “Yes”. When I dropped him he said “Oh” and sat down. I miss his kiss but shit! Several times during the day he said “Gaday Petra” and smiled. I think he must feel a little bit guilty. I hope so. At lunch I sat with them and I asked Trevor if he knew and why he didn't tell me. He tried to explain it but all that came out was “Well you were happy on the weekend”. Then Jason came and sat next to me ( oh sugar). I only talked to him every now and then. I said “I spent all my money on a costume”. He asked me what colour it was and said “I like green ones, red ones and black ones”. I wonder if he really likes green ones. Debbie said “Petra say something” and I said “Something”. Jason was going off his brain about it ( the bell went) and he said “Seeya Petra”. Gary Chester (when I was walking with Trevor) said “Are you going with Jason?” Denton, Trevor (Flea), Craig and I said “No!”, and Trevor goes “She’s all yours Gary”, meaning to go with him. Craig Campbell asked me today. HA! Jason was acting today as if nothing has happened. How could he. Seeya.

Friday Rocktober 10 - Guess what!! Jason’s going with Cathy. How could he!

Guess what!! Jason’s going with Cathy. How could he? Just one day after I dropped him. All day I was giving her dirty looks. She’s a real slut. Someone said to her Jason’s only going with you for a root. And she said “I know”, and when the bell went he went to kiss her but she wouldn't let him cause we were all watching. I was looking at them and she said Stare off”. Jason laughed. Trevor came over and started talking to me and Debbie and Sally reckons he’s going to ask me . Oh Lord I hope not. Sally said that Jason was only with Cathy for a root. Then she reckoned Jason still likes me and she reckons he’ll ask me again. What a load of BS. How would I know he’s not going to use me again? Could he ask me anyway? He’s going with that bitch Cathy. Anyway he wouldn't ask me, what a load of BS. I hope Trevor won’t ask me, I don’t know what to say.

Saturday Rocktober 11 - Guess what! I got in the Rep team. Isn't that great!

Guess what! I got in the Rep team. Isn't that great! This is the last time though. I shot terrible goals.

Sunday Rocktober 12 - Jason had planned to drop Cathy after one week

Debbie and I rung each other and all of Blaxland East to try and contact Chris so that Debbie could go to a barbecue with Chris. We had a nag about the party. Jo paired up with Stephen Stockton! Debbie asked Chris if he was using Cathy. Chris said that Jason had planned to drop her after one week. Jo rang Jason and said it was Debbie. He thought it was Debbie Grace and Chris said he had never seen anyone run so fast for a phone before.

Monday Rocktober 13 - He reckoned Jason wasn't going with Cathy.

I walked past Jason this morning and he just smiled at me. At lunch Cathy went over there and Chris purposely went and sat next to her. Maybe he wants us to tell Debbie. Anyway, Gary Chester came over and asked me why I wasn't going with Jason anymore. He also asked me if I would go with Mark. He reckoned Jason wasn't going with Cathy. BS. And then he said “Jees you've got brown legs”. Later Trevor came over and started raving on saying that he probably won’t ask me, “Not that I don't like you or anything” he kept saying, “But I just want to be real good friends” and I said “Are we still married” and he said “Yes”. He said that he would probably ask me next year – as if he’s going to like me by then. Seeya.

Tuesday Rocktober 14 - Guess what? I’m going with Trevor. Isn't that terrible

Guess what? I’m going with Trevor. Isn't that terrible. Damn it. He came over this morning and said “Petra will you go with me?” and then he said “Tell me at lunch time”. Stupid me went and said yes. I went and sat over there and at times Jason seemed sort of upset but it was probably my imagination. They were talking about when a girl reaches her climax and all that. Then Cathy came over and Jason was being so affectionate. He said he would have asked her before only I got in the way ( that’s what he said to me). He seems really and truly dead set. I bet you he won’t drop her now. Oh shit why I have to go with Trevor? What a fool I am. He put his arm around me. I wanted to take it away but I couldn't.

Wednesday Rocktober 15 - Fabrice was really concerned when Glenda told him I nearly blacked out

Was over with Trevor again today and Cathy came over. Jason had his hands on her tits and he goes “You don’t trust my hand do you” ( I don’t blame her) and Debbie was being nasty and they all called her viscous. Trevor asked me if I was ticklish and he started tickling me. The bell went and he went to kiss me but I turned away. Christian thinks I’m using him to get close to Jason. Maybe I am. I’m so confused. At music Jason said “Hello” to me and smiled and waved. He came to school with a hangover. – he was pissed last night. I can swim 8 lengths of the pool in 12 minutes and 27 seconds. Isn't that good. I can get my Bronze. All the boys have to go to Lawson to swim. Damn. That’s not fair. I got real sick after and Mrs Smith had to take me home. Blackborrow was in the back. Glenda reckons Fabrice was really concerned when Glenda told him I nearly blacked out. I hope so. He’s nice. Seeya.

Thursday Rocktober 16 – “I’ll have to drop him. It’ll ruin my reputation”.

Today we went over and Trevor put his arm around me. He held me so tight I nearly choked. I wanted to pull away but he held me too tight. And when the bell went he came at me real fast and kissed me. I couldn't get out of it. Cathy came over and everyone started saying “When’s ‘F’ Day”. Cathy said “I’m going” and pissed off.  God it was funny ( sucked in O’Donell). Jason said “Gaday Petra” and waved at me in PE. At lunch Trevor had to go half lunch. I've got to drop him. It can’t go on, and its bad. Lynette asked Jason if he still liked me  and he said “She’s alright as a friend”. When Trevor puts his arm around he weighs me down. It feels like an elephant is sitting on me. I’ll have to drop him. It’ll ruin my reputation.

Friday Rocktober 17 - “No you have to get your bit out of her first”

Well I dropped Trevor. I asked him if we could be friends and he said OK and I went over and sat with him. At lunch Sally said that Trevor was going to drop me a couple of days ago.  Christ it was only a couple of days ago he asked me! This morning Sally said he was real upset. They sure know how to make a fool out of me don’t they. Someone said to Jason “Drop her this morning” (Cathy) and he said “No I can’t do that” and I said “ No you have to get your bit out of her first” and Craig goes “That went deep”. Chris keeps laughing at me and pointing me out to people, and that gang keeps laughing at me. God they’re a bunch of creeps.

Saturday Rocktober 18 “Trevor wanted to drop me. I was lucky to get in first”

Nothing happened today. I washed my hair. I studied science for a science exam on Tuesday. Debbie rang this morning and I was on the phone for about one hour. We
swapped days in our diaries. Chris is taking her out to see Godfather Part 2. Lucky stiff. If I was still going with Jason, so would I be. Debbie’s asked Chris if Trevor was going to drop me and he said yes because he was getting sick of me. Ha! After one day! Sharon said she knew Trevor wanted to drop me on Wednesday. That was just one day after. I was lucky to get in first. I worried about it for nothing. What a bum. Guess what? Trevor ‘s gong to a concert at Penrith Park with Sherbert, John Paul Young, Ray Burgess, Buffalo, and others. I hope I can go. It’s called Mountain Rocks. Seeya.

Sunday Rocktober 19“How could I be so brainy last year and so dumb this year?”

Dear Diary,

God it was really boring today. All I did was study study study – my maths. And I still don’t understand it all. It’s so stupid. I don’t see what good it’s going to do us later. I’m going to flunk ALL my exams, I bet. How could I be so brainy last year and so dumb this year? Last year I came first in my class now look at the dummy from downtown dumbsland. We tried a new cake today called Butter Streusel Coffee Cake. It was unusual but nice.

Monday Rocktober 20 - Fabrice is nice. I sit next to him every afternoon on the bus

Jason wasn't here today. So what! I think I've got my mind on Grant Carson. He’s really nice. We were playing handball and they wanted to play and Trevor came up and said “Since we’re real good friends can we play handball” and Grant said “I’ll pair up with you” ( me). Anyway, they were kicking the ball and it went on the roof and they all said “Oh we've got bad back problems” and all this, so they couldn't go up and get it. God it was funny. I got Colin Boyd to get it, but altogether it was a shitty day. Debbie and Joanne bitched. They’re going by themselves and ignore us as though we were a clump of grass. Fabrice is nice. I sit next to him every afternoon on the bus. He started going on about my hair and I got cut. I said “I’m not sitting next to you anymore”. God it was funny. Here comes tomorrow, PACK PACK.

Tuesday Rocktober 21 - English exam was OK, Maths was hard,Science was bloody hard

Jason was at school today and ( bad luck). He’s still going with Cathy. He waved at me at roll call and at lunch he said hello. Grant gave me this great cheesy grin. I asked him if he had any new pains and he said “No but I will have when I nick your ball”. English exam was OK, Maths was hard and Science was bloody hard. I’ll flunk them all I bet. Sat next to Fabrice on the bus again and Chambers goes “see!” and started laughing. He says “Just cause you can’t crack onto Helen”. I guess I still like Jason. Oh shit. There is this third form kid that keeps looking at me and smiling, and waving. God it’s funny. Oh well. Jo and Debbie are still being bitchy and stuck up. Seeya.

Wednesday Rocktober 22 -  “I like Fabrice but he keeps getting me cut

Jason and Cathy had a fight today. She started hitting and punching him and he called her a slut. But then at lunch time she was with him again so they must have made up. It was something about Saturday night, how when Jason left she was all over Craig B. We were giving her dirty looks and she kept shouting Have a good stare. Jason came in woodwork and tapped me on the shoulder and said “Gaday Petra”. That third form kid ( Michael) said hello again today. Fabrice was staring at me again. I got out and I said that I was small one time and he said "and twice as ugly". That got me real cut. Bloody Glenda tried to crack onto him , the Bitch, and he seemed to like her. I like Fabrice but he keeps getting me cut. Seeya.

Thursday Rocktober 23 - Every time Fabrice walks past me he’d laugh or hit me on the head.

The 6th form farewell was this morning. It was hopeless. We were over with Chris and all them this morning. At first I thought Jason wasn't going with Cathy cause she wasn't with him this morning but then at lunch she was with him.  He must like her now. Debbie told me that Debbie Grace was his latest heart throb – I knew it! The reason why he’s not going with her cause she won’t go with him, so Chris reckons. I walked past Jason and he only smiled. Every time Fabrice walks past me he’d laugh or hit me on the head. He sat in front of me in Scripture and was talking to me. Then on the bus he sat next to me and Manzie goes “Why don’t you go with her. Cause you’d go with her and she’d go with you” and he said “I don’t feel like it. Maybe tomorrow – ok”. Then we started talking about parties. It was funny. I wonder if I’ll ever go with Fabrice.

Friday Rocktober 24 – “We’re all on the verge of splitting up

What a shitful day. Everyone’s fighting with everyone. Debbie’s calling  JB a bitch cause she showed us a picture of Debbie by surprise and somehow or rather I got caught up in the middle of it. I called Jo a bitch to her face and Debbie a mole. I got 30 out of 50 for science. Bad eh! We were fighting in Science. I read to Debbie from my diary about Joe pairing up with Neil and Debbie told her, the Bitch. We’re all on the verge of splitting up. I was staring at Jason but I didn't realise and he smiled at me and I said “Oh Hi”. He rolled his eyes as if to say “Oh God, what a dick’. Lea Salmon wants me to go with him, oh shit.

Saturday Rocktober 25 She was trying to convert me to a Christian

Did nothing today, a bit of housework and put some charms on my sleepers. Got good

news. Dad might, or rather Mum might, be giving me a raise. She said she would see how I went on $1.50 and if I was worth it $2.00. I hope so. That’s all I've got to say. See-ya. No I haven’t. Went to see Thief in the Night. It was really good except for one thing. There was this lady there. She was trying to convert me to a Christian and she gave me this great long talk and I’m supposed to ring her back. It was weird.

Sunday Rocktober 26 – Garth Porter is nice

J.B rang to see if I could go to the Katoomba with them today. Guess

who wanted me to go in the first place – Rose. The only one who’s trying to convert me. But I couldn't go cause I had too much to do. To think that I could be at that concert now in Penrith. Stupid me. I was allowed and for the full time too, and I forgot to get the tickets. I regret it now. I don’t like Sherbet but there’s one nice guys in it and his name is Garth Porter. God he’s nice. See-ya.

Monday Rockotber 27 – “Fabrice sat next to me on the bus today”

Well nothing much happened today. Lea asked me again about five times. I thought he was only stirring but Debbie, Jo and Colin Boyd reckons he’s not. Chris said something about Jason and Debbie splitting up so she must have been going with him or something. I guess they make a good pair but I wish it was me instead. Fabrice sat next to me on the bus today. Watched the adventures of Barry Mackensie, God it was funny. That’s all. See-ya.

Tuesday Rocktober 28 – “Fabrice sat next to me on the bus again, but I still like Jason

It was boring today. Lea Salmon asked me again today about 7 time and he kept asking me "Why not?" when I said no. He said he was going to write me some love poetry.  He gave Debbie a note to give to me but she never gave it to me. The Bitch. Went up and talked to Trevor but I didn't say much, just hello and a bit of this and that. Mark Hudson keeps asking me who I’m going with, just about every time he sees me. Fabrice sat next to me on the bus again, but I still like Jason. Fabrice shit stirs me too much.

Wednesday Rocktober 29 - I got two love letters from Lea Salmon

It's getting real boring at school. We went over to Jason’s gang and I was standing next to Jason. I started talking about how Bedoe is like a baboon and he laughed at me. I said I hated the Bay City Rollers cause Debbie said Jason looks like the singers in Bay City Rollers. And he said he reckons they’re ok. I shouldn't have said that I hated them. He walked past me and just smiled. Michelle threw an orange at me, the Bitch. I got two love letters from Lea Salmon and he bugged me all day to go with him. That nice guy was at the pool again. God he’s gorgeous. But I miss Jason, but every time I see him he’s with Debbie Grace.

Thursday Rocktober 30 – “Talked to Fabrice in the art room and he painted all over me”.

Debbie and Jo weren't here today. Twice Jason walked past me and just smiled. He doesn't say “Gaday Petra” anymore. He just smiles. Lee came up to me and asked me again about  five times. Can’t he get the hint? Talked to Fabrice in the art room and he painted all over me. Then on the bus he sat next to me, but I think he likes Glenda or Helen. Oh shit – I don’t care. Yes I do. Sugar. 

PS Thank-you Dear Diary for listening to my problems.

Friday Roctober 31 - I get the feeling Fabrice doesn't like me but why does he sit next to me?

God it was bad today. Everyone had the shits. Just because Debbie’s bloody well going with Chris she thinks she can boss everyone around. Jenny Chalenor got her photo taken with Chris and he had his arm around her but Debbie wouldn't get jealous. Debbie had her buttons undone and I commented on it and Jo admitted that she told Debbie to undo it to shit me, the mole. And later she goes are you still stroppy with me!  Big Words. Me stroppy with her? Somehow I get the feeling Fabrice doesn't like me but why does he sit next to me? David Regan and Paul Sharp rung me up last night and both of them asked me to go with them. They wanted me to meet them in the morning. They kissed me over the phone when they got off. It was funny. But I luv Jason.

Facebook 1975

We had Facebook in 1975, only it looked a little different. It was a hard copy Facebook, which we called "A Paper Conversation". It was held during class time on torn out pages of our school books, and handed around a select group. The notes were kept in the "Paper Conversation Book". This month I am gong with Jason and I am so excited!

I've dropped Jason but still mulling over him:

And how ruthless are we as a fellow group members asks to sit next to me:

Written by Petra Campbell

Twitter: @petraau

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